Worm that I am, such a lover of sin,
White washed without, decaying within.
Bloated with pleasure, fattened with lies,
How blind is the blindness that can’t see, though has eyes?
Could ever a man charmed and spellbound as me,
Reach out for a Savior come to make those blind see?
This savior by grace offers sight to the eyes,
Offers gladness of heart and to make the soul wise.
Yet reach out I cannot, ever turning to sin.
Outwardly I greet him Him though I curse Him within.
Trapped and helpless in blindness, my soul’s need to see,
This Savior is daily, ever reaching for me.
This is a poem I wrote on 5/28/20 in a time when I was battling an onslaught of temptation and sin. Years of indulging laziness, lust, and the foolishness of poorly stewarding God’s precious gifts take a toll on one’s soul, as the flesh is fed in its war against the Spirit of God living in us. In this battle, we are helplessly reliant upon the rescuing grace of a loving Father in heaven who sees us in our struggle and knows our every weakness. (Hebrews 4:15-16) Our confidence is not in our ability to “fight” or “win” in our own strength, but in the steadfast love of our Savior who guards us and watches over us. (Psalm 121)
Sometimes the rescuing grace we need comes in the form of God’s wisdom, spoken to our hearts through the Holy Spirit, to grant us the wisdom we need to apply the truths He reveals to us for our good. This wisdom came to me as I read Proverbs 3:5-8, particularly verses 7 and 8. “7 Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and turn away from evil. 8 It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.” True wisdom is found in fear of the Lord (Job 28) and casting ourselves upon His mercy when we are too weak to resist sin’s tug on our hearts.